A few weeks ago I was chatting with Tatiana of Zuahaza about their latest decor collection Hichu (photographed throughout the post by Victoria Holguin Fotografia) and the topic of self care came up. Their cozy pillows, throws, and scarves are definitely tailor-made for day of self care: relaxing, meditating, enjoying a good tea or read. But as important as we all know (and tell each other) it is to put ourselves first, when the holiday season comes… well, all bets are off.
It makes sense, right? It’s the season of gratitude and giving, and self care hardly seems caring. But (are you ahead of me here?) we can really only give our bests to others when we feel energized and inspired to, and that doesn’t happen without self care. It’s easy to think it’s fair or fine to deplete ourselves throughout the season, with the intention of turning it all around in the new year. I hear you, I am there right now.
Let me first say that self care isn’t a reward; you don’t need to have committed a number of selfless acts to deem yourself worthy of your own attention. Self care isn’t the solution to burnout, it’s the prevention.
All year I’ve been experimenting with self care activities in hopes they’ll become habits engrained deeper than other less successful coping mechanisms I’ve tried. While each still (and may always) require an effort, there are a few that I can’t imagine walking into 2022 without. Of course, for every one that has worked, there’s something that hasn’t. Self care is all about finding ways to care for your own wellbeing that are right for you. Your work isn’t done unless you are finding healthy ways to cope with and ease stress, restore energy, tune into yourself, and feel good.
self care habits to build now for the new year
daily self check-ins
The most important habit I’ve built this year is to check in on myself throughout the day—whether it’s a work day or weekend. It started as scheduled moments: checking in with myself while practicing better breathing (see below) or while on a meditative walk. I’d try to tune into how I felt at the moment, what I was anxious about, how I could feel better, not just what was next on my to do list.
After a few months I realized those check-ins had made it easier to recognize (and most importantly, pause to correct) when I was feeling super nervous, tense, down, etc. Instead of letting an entire day go by in a funk, I’d acknowledge it, then use one of my other self care habits to cope.
That might be my most important lesson learned this year. You can’t take care of yourself if you don’t recognize when you need care. We recognize it in our pets, our partners, our kids, but it’s harder to see it in the mirror.
self care every day, but not all day
There’s one other hurdle to actually making your own wellness a habit, and that’s the idea that it needs to be an entire act or routine. I mean, how often are we talking about routines? As part of these habits, I also spent the year trying (and falling off of and trying again) to build a morning ritual. Starting the morning off right is the ultimate self care, I’ve heard. But we don’t always have a ton of time in the morning. So you have to fit it in where you can. Maybe it’s only ten or twenty minutes in the morning, then another 15 at lunch, then a one minute breathing exercise before that afternoon Zoom call.
You want to know how to use self care throughout your day, and not think of it has a few hours or a day here and there to make up for lost time.
To truly care for yourself, you need to weave these acts of self-compassion and mindfulness throughout your day, each day. But it doesn’t have to mean long hours in a yoga class, meditating, or at the spa (unless you can!).
pinpoint your favorite mini acts of self care
You might be wondering what acts of self care I’ve been talking about. What’s inside those ten or twenty minute pockets? I’ve tried many, but these made a difference for me. They are acts that make me feel more calm and centered after, and that I know I can return to whenever, even discreetly if I need to, throughout my day.
Breathing better. The book Breath by James Nestor taught me the importance of and science behind breathing correctly. Slow, deep inhales through the nose and full exhales. I finally understand why people started advising others to take “deep breaths” in chaotic situations. I practice as often as I remember throughout the day, but I make a more dedicated effort when I have a few minutes to focus.
EFT Tapping. I learned about tapping on Instagram, actually, as a lot of mental health accounts I follow recommend it for anxiety and stress. It involves gently tapping acupressure points on your own body while bringing a specific stressor to the mind.
Journaling. Journaling is the one habit I’ve kept most of my life, and I fall off enough to know just how much better I feel when I’m “on”. I prefer to journal in the morning, when I have time alone. But sometimes if I can’t sleep at night or feel beyond overwhelmed, a quick journal session can help greatly. It essentially forces you to focus only on one thought (or worry) at a time, and once you start writing it down you naturally begin to release the stress, or think of solutions.
Walking meditation. I’ve always gone on walks almost daily. Eventually I learned that my walks (I don’t listen to music or podcasts) are the best time to be both inside my head and out. I spend sometime simply thinking, letting my mind wander. And I spend other moments observing my surroundings, appreciating details. I’m as intentional as possible, yet I feel free. If you find it hard to settle into a sitting meditation, give it a try.
The best part of these acts? Each can be done for as little or as long a time as you’d like. Often my tapping sessions are less than ten minutes. It’s one of my favorite ways to calm down when I’m faced with a stressful situation head on. I’ll do a few rounds and with each tap the tension eases just a bit. More importantly, it gives me a second to realize I can handle what’s coming my way. Hard to realize that when you’re too busy preparing!
Reflecting on my wellness journey in 2021, I can see that these self care habits have truly made a difference. I’ve built them slowly and imperfectly. But the holiday season, wonderful as it is, IS stressful. Instead of letting the overwhelm build into the new year, I’m staying on it. Practicing, practicing. There will always be overwhelming situations, but I’m feeling a bit better about my response to them now.
What self care habits have you built this year? What do you want to change or add in the new year? Thanks to Zuahaza for sharing the photos to go along with this essay. Shop the Hichu collection here.
