Self care is about doing those things that are good for you (and that you might even enjoy) but don’t truly appreciate until after. If it was merely an instant gratification thing, we’d all be masters of self care. It’s a shame, then, that so many self care tips suggest heading to the salon or laying on a face mask. Don’t get me wrong, we love both of those things, but effective self care shouldn’t require a purchase be made. Instead, it should help you increase mindfulness, adopt healthy habits, practice gratitude, go easier on yourself, or choose helpful coping mechanisms.
And interesting note: When writing, I thought through my own experience with each of the bullets below, and when I’ve decided to do them. So often I do any of these only after I’ve felt lousy for a good long time. A lot of modern psychology (in therapy, in studies etc.) will tell you to practice all of these things (my old psychiatrist was actually the first person to ever tell me to sleep in if I want to, or cancel plans when I don’t feel up to it… the kind of permissions we struggle to give ourselves) because it’s effective if you practice it enough. The only deep breath you take that week shouldn’t be during a breakdown. So, here’s to practicing these in all times, good and bad… simply because they feel good.
1. A mindful walk. A walking meditation is a way of practicing mindfulness while moving, and it challenges your natural tendency to do things on autopilot, like moving your legs, breathing, and observing the sights, smells, and sounds around you. It sounds incredibly simple so it’s easy to overlook it as an effective form of self care, but it’s an entire sensory experience that personally gives me immense gratitude and a feeling of calm every time I’m intentional about doing it.
2. An experience. A day at the beach, exploring a new neighborhood, there are so many ways to have an experience without spending money. Money can cause so much stress and neglecting to take care of yourself while struggling with it and other factors will only worsen your situation. Getting active and out in nature is an obvious antidote, but there are plenty of free museums, cultural events, and other enriching experiences put on by neighborhoods and towns all over, you just have to get out and do it.
3. An early bedtime. Sometimes you just want to call it a day. Why don’t you? In a world that never unplugs, choosing to stop is a radical act.
4. A day to yourself. Again, it’s a busy world out there. Everyone wants you to do and be something different, everyone has a demand. Declaring, “I’m making no plans today.” seems almost absurd. But oh, it feels so good.
5. Saying “No.” To another work request you quite literally don’t have time for, to an invitation to go out when you want to stay in, to undercharging for your work, to another unreciprocated favor—there are countless things a woman does each and every day that mean putting her needs behind others. They add up. Giving is one thing, but exhausting yourself won’t help others or you. Saying no might mean saying yes to yourself.
6. A deep breath. Stressed? Anxious? Tired? Angry? Hurting? Sad? Worried? Embarrassed? None of these things feel good. A deep breath is kind of like reminding yourself you’re still here and that this too, shall pass. Take a deep breath and acknowledge your feelings, and that they will soon pass.
7. A social media break. Recently our Charity posted in her Insta Stories asking what her followers do when they’re feeling anxious. A lot of them agreed: get off social media. It doesn’t have to be that specific things on social media have upset you—there’s just so many times when there are a million other things you could be doing, to benefit yourself, rather than a thing that can be pretty mindless and unfulfilling.
8. An affirmation. Affirmations and positive self talk are ways of expressing gratitude and visualizing a positive future. There is research that shows it can calm anxiety, make you happier (by making you more content with where you are), and more. Plus, like a big, deep breath, it just feels nice.
9. Phone a friend. I’ve personally spent a lot more time considering whether I should reach out to a friend than actually talking with them. Up until a few years ago, I figured if people wanted to talk to me, they’d call me, and if not, I was on my own. This is not so. Friends are often thinking the same thing, or they’re experiencing their own distractions, and well, life gets in the way. Do you and your friends a favor and keep in touch.
10. A good read. I never regret reading, yet I read so much more rarely than I want to because I put about a million other things first. Taking the time to go to the library, physically browse and pick out a book, check it out, and bring it home to read (all for free!) is another quiet way to declare that you’re spending time with yourself, your mind, your imagination.
Let us know what you’d add to this list.
Diana says
Thoroughly enjoyed this article